you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We just shotgunned beers for America
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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