I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
