Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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