Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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