just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
