all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
