she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
