i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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