I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
