there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
