so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
