Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
