It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
