I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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