i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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