well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
