This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
