Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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