Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
