Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
