Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
