But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
