if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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