Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
