Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
