oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
