I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
