It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
