And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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