so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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