Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
