His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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