i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think we might need a safe word for this...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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