on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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