I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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