We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
