What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
