He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
