Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize
