i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
