woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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