you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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