Just cropdusted the office
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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