I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
