My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
