Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
