so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
