Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
