you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
