Have you finally orgasmed yet?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
