Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
