brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
