I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
