this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
