he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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