Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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