i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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